As the water and paint swirl together on the paper I try to feel which way it will flow. I am completely self taught through trial and error and clearly an amateur. Painting is how I decompress and relieve stress. I don’t worry if I make a mess or a masterpiece. I have a stack of drawings and unfinished paintings that didn’t quite turn out right. Most of them have issues with tones and shadows. I’ve struggled with skin tones and depth on portraits and landscapes that come out looking flat. I think the fact that I just experiment and learn as I go is the most rewarding and interesting.
I used to dabble in paint when I was younger but life took over and raising children and helping them discover their dreams became my passion. Then when my mother was diagnosed with cancer my life changed direction again. I would sit and watch her sleep and pray for a miracle. She didn’t survive but my miracle came in other little ways that touched and changed my life forever.
She asked me one day to paint a picture of my brother’s new house. She wasnt able to get there to see it herself. I hadn’t painted in 20 years or so and I wasn’t that great before so I didn’t expect much to come of it. But I’d do anything for her. I asked my sister in law for a few pictures to go by, picked up a sketch pad, some brushes, and colors and started playing. At first I felt anxious because I didn’t feel like I could or should take the time to play with paint. I mean I was trying to keep up with a crazy life schedule, who had time for that? But they say mothers always know best. My mom always did. She had that keen insight as to what I needed before I did.
While she drifted in and out of sleep I would paint. We laughed at my first attempts and crumpled paper piled on the table which I had to keep clearing before the daily hospice nurse would clear it for me. Somewhere in the midst of all of the commotion and stress I found a sanctuary. When it was just mom and I, and everyone was gone, I’d sit at the table with my small lamp and talk to her as I painted. We got into a rhythm that way. I’d lull her to sleep with memories of the past. It was one of the best gifts she ever gave me.
Although I wished she had not gotten sick and I prayed and hoped she would pull through, even in the hardest fight of her life she managed to teach me and love me as only a mother could do.
I continue to paint now and I take my paints with me camping for ultimate relaxation. Some of the paintings still end up crumpled on my desk but I can almost hear my mother’s laughter and know that she’s still here guiding me along the way.
May you find your serenity and peace in your life. Live a blessed life my friends.
Please share your creative side with us. We would love to see your art work, poetry, writings, music, or whatever you like to create.
Thank you for visiting Gottacampgirl. Please be sure to Comment, Like and Subscribe!